suzy's words of wisdom

Words of advice for the week:

*Staying out till 5am two nights in a row is probably not the best remedy for a flu.
*Always return your paranoid parents' call after staying out till 5 am with your blind date
*Nice guys really do always finish last.
*Don't leave your umbrella in the car when it's 30 degrees outside, there's freezing rain, and you know you're going to wait outside in a long line to get into a club.
*Don't stand outside waiting to get into the club when you're already sick.
*Don't always trust your first impressions, cuz there are a LOT of psychos out there.
*Make it a rule to never fall for a coworker.
*Stick to guys who are single.
*Being a single girl like Carrie Bradshaw isn't always as glamorous as it seems.
*Don't wear a skirt to work during wintertime in Washington just because you think you look cute in it.
*If you're 5'2 and your date is 6'3, you're going to look stupid as hell walking down the street or dancing together.
*Don't play with the thermostat if you're roommate is a cheapo.
*Take the time to actually clean your room now and then. It really pays off in the long run.
*SLEEP. You can really make some baaaaaad decisions if you don't do it.
*All men are not created equal. This means that you're not just going to forget one for another- especially if he doesn't measure up.
*If you're an INFP, your best match is not an ESTJ. Opposites may attract but they sure as hell can't carry on a real conversation.
*Always remember how important your girlfriends are, because they're ultimately the ones who'll help you maintain your sanity when you're acting like an erratic fool.
*In general, guys and girls are perpetually going to struggle to be "just friends" with one another.
*If you're going to work near the city but live in the suburbs, make sure you're near a real metro station and not just a commuter bus. You'd be amazed how much time and money you can waste on transportation.
*Take your antibiotics as your doctor prescribes.
*Floss. (Sorry I just had to throw that one in, ha).
*Be sure to close your Gmail chat windows before your boss approaches your cubicle.
*If you're going to study Arabic, you must either by masochistic or a linguafile (is that a word?).
*Being a strong, intelligent woman can often be a prescription for rejection. Let's just face it: most men are weak cowards.
*Make time for yourself.
*Just because you're Facebook friends doesn't mean your friends in real life. If you didn't know this already, make sure your brain circuit is turned to the on switch.
*When you see a girl tripping over her own feet or falling on the floor in a bar, establish as large a distance as possible because there's a very good chance she is going to puke on you.
*This one is actually not based on my own personal experience but on someone's whose name I shall not reveal for privacy reasons: If a guy ever uses the phrase, "That's not very lady-like", get away. Fast. I can say with total conviction that he comes from a very large pool of assholes whose pool you do not want to swim in.
*If you can, order in Spanish at a South American buffet because you'll probably end up with 2 tamales on your plate instead of the usual one.
*It's very normal to get freaked out by the hobo on the metro who gets 2 inches away from your face and says, "You have the most beautiful hair you've ever seen". And when he replies that your boyfriend must be very lucky, don't reveal to him your true relationship status. Honesty doesn't always pay off.
*Don't assume that just because you've come across a man who has your same, unique taste in music guarantees that he's Mr. Right.
*And last but definitely not least: Text messaging your unavailable crush after a couple of strong drinks is a very, very, bad idea.